I Workout
Posted: February 7, 2012 Filed under: Athletics, Culture, Features | Tags: Fashion, Gym, Poor Decisions Leave a comment »
Workout Fail
Dear Smith College,
The following atrocities have caused me to come out of the woodwork. Ladies, Gents, and Betches I have been up in the gym just workin on my fitness I have notice several fashion monstrosities that cannot go unaddressed.
- If your shorts are so short that I can see your pubes. YOU ARE WRONG. I don’t care what you do with your down there hair, but I don’t want to see it. Sure as hell never getting on that seated bike again.
- Panty Hose- Those are not comfortable in general….why am I seeing ladies at the gym wearing panty hose as workout gear. PS- They are see through and I don’t want to see what is through them.
- Flatulence- Pop a Beano or something before you bounce around on the elliptical next to me.
- Camel Toes- Northampton has the larges number of camel toes per capita. A little camel toe is totally understandable, deff get them all the time…but if it looks like you are trying to split yourself in half with your spandex…YOU ARE WRONG.
- Inappropriate Wearing of Hot Pants. There is an age limit for hot pants. If you are a member of AARP or Medicare loose the hot pants.
- Those toe shoes that are for running. They make you look barefoot. Idk what they are called, but they make me nervous. Please don’t drop the iron you are pumping on them.
I think it is wonderful that ya’ll are working out and being healthy, but please…use a little discretion when assembling your outfits.
