Smith College’s Own in the Huffington Post
Posted: April 3, 2012 Filed under: Culture, News, Uncategorized Leave a comment »
Sophomore Angelica Martinez tells the GOP to go to the left, to the left. After years of being a Republican, she has saddled up her donkey and joined the Democrats.
Click Here to Read her Resignation
LIST OF THINGS VOLUME VI: Things to do on Leap Day
Posted: February 29, 2012 Filed under: Culture Leave a comment »
If you haven’t seen the new episode of 30 rock, a) WHY NOT, and b) you can do anything you want to on February 29th because it doesn’t count AND a bald man with a mustache and blue suit thinks you should! What’s on my docket tomorrow, you ask? Here’s a few:
- Tap dance my way into Grab n Go. I live in a Friedman now, and I’ve been trying to plan a diversion so I can get a free bag of chips without anyone asking to see my OneCard. I think this free daypass would be a good way to test the tap dancing option. Other ideas include: covering my face in glitter, wearing my nuditard (nude-colored unitard), bringing some ducks in with me, or only speaking gibberish if confronted. Or, of course, I could do these all at once. And while I was there, I’d pick up at least 3 big salads and 3 sandwiches.
- Streak Chapin Lawn. I’ve streaked several spaces at Smith, but I think we can all agree that this stretch of green would be the most daring place to bound around in the buff. I’ll take that challenge. Read the rest of this entry »
LIST OF THINGS VOLUME V: Text Messages I Have Sent Myself
Posted: February 25, 2012 Filed under: Culture Leave a comment »So, this is Texts From Last Night, Loner/Narcissism edition. Here are some texts from the past few months that I’m so glad I felt the need to send… to myself:
Luv it lolz
10/13/11; 11:22 p.m.
hot tub on paradise pond island resort millions of dollars
10/19/11; 12:28 a.m.
what is pez made of
10/27/11; 1:33 a.m.
Grammar is so important.
11/10/11; 11:57 p.m.
is TinTiN gay? Read the rest of this entry »
LIST OF THINGS VOLUME IV: How to Prep For and Celebrate Sextravaganza Properly
Posted: February 21, 2012 Filed under: Athletics, Culture, Event 1 Comment »
Big panties hooray!
For those of you who don’t know, next week is Sextravaganza, a wonderful week of events put on by Smith’s PSE. Here are some ways to get yourself ready and to celebrate!
- Get new undies. I did. Two pairs. One was from my mother. Her Valentine’s Day package included a cheese grater wrapped in 4 socks, and a pair of black lacy panties. No note. I purchased the other pair for myself. They are large and grey.
- Napsturbate. Tell your friends you’re going to catch some Zs. Catch something else instead. Read the rest of this entry »
Congress Decides Women Cannot Speak for Themselves
Posted: February 16, 2012 Filed under: Culture, Features, News Leave a comment »
Anyone wondering about the GOP witch hunt going on in DC over birth control? During a hearing on birth control today, GOP representatives discussed the importance of women’s health. Since the GOP feels that women are not able to make decisions about their own bodies and are immensely preoccupied with what a woman does with her vagina and uterus, no women were included in this hearing.
Ladysmithd’s Guide to NOT Picking Up Chicks at Smith College
Posted: February 10, 2012 Filed under: Culture, Features, News, Uncategorized 1 Comment »
Dear Gentlemen who visit Smith College trying to pick up chicks,
I am forced to write this because I was just asked out on a hot date. If you are a gentlemen who visits Smith College with the intent to patrol the grounds in search of your soul mate before Valentine’s Day, this is NOT how you do it.
Can Someone Explain This To Me?
Posted: February 9, 2012 Filed under: Culture, Uncategorized | Tags: food, Grab n Go, Houses Leave a comment »
You Must Take The Tray
Dear Smith College,
Can someone explain the lunch tray system at Hubbard House to me? I LOVE Hubbard Grab n Go. Those little to go mac n cheese things rule. Epic. HOWEVER. I am having a very hard time (and I’m now in my last semester of Smith College) understanding the purpose of the trays at Hubbard.
1. You must take a tray during lunch, but not during breakfast. It seems like you can eat more than 5 bagels at breakfast or be that betch that takes the good half of the bagel and leaves the crappy bottom half, but under no circumstance, none at ALL, may you enter the lunch line without a tray.
2. I’ve never used the tray during lunch. I throw it under my arm, grab my egg and cheese on an english muffin and go! If I don’t use it- why am I forced to take one?
3. The ONE time I did use a tray, I sat down at a table and the next thing I know someone is yelling at me that I can’t have the trays at the table. Trays in line, no trays at the table. Got it.
Can someone help me understand the Hubbard lunch tray situation. It is beyond me.
LIST OF THINGS VOLUME III: Reasons Why a Snuggie is Better Than a Significant Other (Valentine’s Day Edition)
Posted: February 8, 2012 Filed under: Culture | Tags: snuggies, Valentines Day Leave a comment »
True love
Note: I do not own a Snuggie. I am not endorsing their existence. I do, however, have a blanket that I stapled in such a way that it has arm holes. A creation like that is also better than a date.
- You can lay it on a hill, sit on it, and enjoy eating grapes for hours on end. You can’t do that to a person- they would complain and lose circulation. A human might even ask you to share. With Snuggie, you get to eat the whole bag.
- You can wear it. In the shower, to class, even bowling. You can’t wear a person ANYWHERE.
- You know how basically every time one half of a couple goes on a trip and the other half says, “Oh, but I shall miss you so! Will you put me in your suitcase?” You can ACTUALLY do that with your Snuggie. Imagine those vacation photos: Snuggie and I at the Coliseum! Snuggie and I on the beach! Snuggie and I at the wax museum with Mick Jagger! Read the rest of this entry »
I Workout
Posted: February 7, 2012 Filed under: Athletics, Culture, Features | Tags: Fashion, Gym, Poor Decisions Leave a comment »
Workout Fail
Dear Smith College,
The following atrocities have caused me to come out of the woodwork. Ladies, Gents, and Betches I have been up in the gym just workin on my fitness I have notice several fashion monstrosities that cannot go unaddressed.
LIST OF THINGS VOLUME II: Ways to Woo a Smithie
Posted: February 2, 2012 Filed under: Culture Leave a comment »
Don't do this.
-Choreograph a dance to her favorite song. Bonus points if you spell out her name with your body over the course of the chorus. She’ll be impressed by your ability to channel the genius of Ani DiFranco’s lyrical stylings with your limber bod.
-“I was bored today so I made six pounds of kale chips and put them in tupperware. Maybe after this chai we can go have some… What? Of course I have nutritional yeast!”
-Bring her to the plant house. What is more romantic than flora? Impress her with your confidence in Latin pronunciations. If all else fails and desperation takes over, you can claim the tropical room is too hot and strategically disrobe (Warning: while this may win her heart (or loins) you may run into some trouble with Public Safety). Read the rest of this entry »
